Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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