wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
