Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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