yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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