It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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