Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
