just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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