Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
