We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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