So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i now understand why vodka
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
