Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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