Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
