Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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