This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
