just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
