angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
