For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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