I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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