omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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