Tell her she can't have a vagina
i barfeds in our rink
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
