I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
