I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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