I want to make a zoo with you.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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