I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
honey bunches of taint.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
