i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
