Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
