Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
