What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Two words: blizzard sex
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
