id be glad to
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
