and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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