The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
