Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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