We're facebook friends in real life
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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