ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
