Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Vodka?
Forever.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
