I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Randomize
