PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
