She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
