I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
