whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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