can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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