marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
