bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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