You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
