mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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