Already got asked if we're dating
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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