just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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