You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
