Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
