idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
