i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
