I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
