he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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