I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
