K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
