Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
