Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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