HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
