i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
sex in a hospital.. check
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
