so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
