I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he thought i was a dude.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
