What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize